When the first guy I ever loved broke up with me, one of the things he said was, “You never needed me and that hurt a lot.”
It stunned and confused me at the time. What did he mean? Of course, I needed him. I thought we needed each other. What did being “needed” have to do with anything? After all, I prided myself on my independence. But in my rush to prove how strong and independent I was I may have broken his heart by making him feel like he was not needed.
Years later, I understood what he meant. It opened my eyes to something vital about attraction and love. We underestimate the value of need when it comes to love.
Yet it’s in our very language. “I need you” can be synonymous with “I love you”.
“I can’t live without you” can express both “I need you/ I love you”. A lot of our language uses “need” when describing love. While we fear appearing “needy”, we can hurt those who love us if we act like we don’t need them at all.
Don’t we feel most loved when we are needed? Isn’t that true for others? Are love and need deeply intertwined and impossible to separate without losing both.
My cased was used in a medical paper and for a presentation in Japan. Of course, they didn’t use any identifying information. They just used images from my ultrasounds and described my case. Hopefully it may help other women struggling with this.
So I drew this after watching Twitch run all of Bob Ross’s old shows. I guess I was inspired by his “happy accidents”.
So I took all the great advice and made this book cover. I think it’s good enough. I drew the black silhouette of the girl at the top. The grey border is simply so it doesn’t disappear into the white of my wordpress page. It’s not part of the cover.
This is not a post about the vast, complicated English-teaching industry in Japan. This is about Japanese students themselves, and the behavior I’ve witnessed while teaching private lessons in cafes to students. There is one thing I simply can’t stand about teaching English privately.
Just when it seemed like things could get back on track I get the news that I’ll have to go into quarantine for most of cherry blossom season. Continue reading
Seeing my adenomyosis on an MRI was heartbreaking.
I have neglected my You Tube channel, blog, and social life for the past month and a half. I needed time to recover physically and emotionally. Also it’s cold outside and I hate the cold.
I have also enrolled in Japanese school.