I’m Better Now

There are ups and downs.

We were prepared for the worst. Every time I had a bleeding episode we were sure it was over. On the fourth episode, it was.

The doctors may never be entirely sure what caused the miscarriage at ten weeks, but they believe it was a sub-chronic hemorrhage. It happened fast. Miscarriages usually take longer. I didn’t feel any cramps until an hour before I miscarried. It looked liked the other bleeding episodes, yet I felt something was wrong and told my husband to come home.

He did.

We were in the hospital when it all went down. I don’t want to say anymore about that.

The results came in later and the baby was normal. Nothing was wrong with the child. No chromosome problems. It was a healthy child.

Unfortunately, the placenta attached at the back of the uterus where the adenomyosis was the worst, right above a large adenomyoma. They’re not sure, but they think the placenta couldn’t attach right. It was ticking time bomb. The bleeding episodes were warning signs.

Basically, if the placenta had attached to the front or top of my uterus the baby would likely have been fine. It was bad luck.

We’re not going to try again for a year, not until my adenomyosis and fibroids are dealt with first. While I’m being treated, I’ll continue to collect more eggs in the hope of more day 5 blastocysts.

We are more hopeful than ever despite everything. I know now that I can get pregnant. I can produce healthy embryos even if they are only a few. We just need to work on my ability to stay pregnant.

Here is to a hopeful 2019 and an even more hopeful 2020.

beach blur clouds dawn

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

8 thoughts on “I’m Better Now

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