The Result of the 3rd Beta

When the bell buzzed, I entered the doctor’s office under a cloud of doom.

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I was pleasantly surprised to see the female doctor. Of the three, she is usually the most empathetic. She smiled and said, “Congratulations.”

I relaxed a bit, sure that was a positive sign.

Directing me to the curtained room, she said in English, “Let’s look.”

Another good sign.

As she checked my pregnancy by ultrasound, I watched her measure a tiny black dot on the screen. When she finished, I asked nervously, “Is everything okay.”

“Okay,” was all she said before returning to the office.

Back in the office, she gestured for me to take a seat. She was stone-faced and in a very clinical voice said, “It’s small.”

My heart sank. I felt gut-punched. Those two words set off a nightmare in my head. My worst fear had been realized.

“Wh-what was its size?” I managed.

“Eight millimeters,” she replied.

Swallowing hard, I blinked back tears and asked, “What was it supposed to be?”

“Eight millimeters.”

Huh? I stared at her blankly. I asked again, this time in Japanese. She repeated her answer, looking a little confused why I asked twice.

“But you said it’s small.”

“Yes. Embryos are always small at five weeks.”

“Then…” I frown in confusion, “It’s fine?”

“Yes.” She looked as puzzled as I felt.

“But my embryo is too small.”

“No. It’s perfect.”

Huh?! I am really confused now.

“But you said it’s small.”

“The size of a grain of rice,” she added, holding up her thumb and forefinger for emphasis. “They’re very small at this stage.”

Finally, it hit me. “You just meant… all embryos are small at this point.”

“Yes.” She doesn’t seem to understand what I am talking about.

“And my embryo is fine. It’s exactly where it should be.”

“Yes.”

She meant “It’s small” as an observation of embryos in general. I kinda wanted to slap her at this point.

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You would think a doctor at an infertility clinic would know how “It’s small” sounds to a pregnant woman who just came out of her first ultrasound. She nearly gave me a heart attack and didn’t even realize it.

Good thing she next told me about my HCG levels. The clinic can’t measure past 9,000 and my levels were OVER 9,000!

Which means they can’t measure them anymore. I’m past what they can measure. Now that’s what I call doubling.

Now for the bad news.

Progesterone levels were low. If they go below 10 a miscarriage can become likely. She had me begin progesterone injections right away to protect the pregnancy. I felt a lot better after the first one. A lot of the symptoms (like a little pink spotting) vanished after the injection.

I’ll have to be careful. Here’s hoping next week is mostly good news as well.