Was it only a few days? It’s felt like a whole month. My world feels turned upside down.
Everyone saw through my vague hints on social media. I guess subtlety is not my strength.
It’s still early. I am hoping for the best, but trying to prepare myself for the worst.
Pregnancy symptoms hit like a hammer, then disappear and then reappear. Each day they feel stronger. My dreams have become incredibly vivid. From the moment I shut my eyes to win I awake I am having dreams that aren’t just visually vivid, but emotionally heart-wrenching. I wake up feeling like I’ve gone through the works emotionally, yet can never quite remember what I saw other than it hit the heart very hard.
My emotions go up and down like a roller coaster. My mood never stays in one place. I feel in a state of dread that things won’t work out, then I soar into optimism. There is no balance. I haven’t felt this vividly in a long time.
I feel hungry all the time. I went from being ice-cold a few days ago to feeling baking hot all the time even my hands are like ice. To change my weekly appointments at the clinic to the end of the week, I had to go extra early this week.
Unfortunately, this meant they could only check the HCG level. As I sat in the office I kept wondering if the result would be bad. I was here three and a half days ago and got an HCG of 65. Would the hammer of bad news crash down? Would I have to tell my husband the bad news?
Well, not this week.
HCG is 475!
So far, we’re doing wonderful.
Maybe next week be as blessed.