Probably Spring


Spring is here… maybe.

For the first time I saw snow and cherry blossoms. It was like this day all over again (with Cherry Blossoms):


It’s freezing outside, yet tomorrow the high will be 19 C.

None of the snow stuck to the pavement, so my husband and I drove to the mall. The mall was packed with groups of families that had screaming babies, downtrodden fathers, and mothers with shopping bags hanging off the handles of strollers. If we didn’t need some things, we might have skipped it all.

One little girl had an epic tantrum by throwing herself to the floor of the H&M and pounding her fists against the tiled floor while belting out “YAAAAADAAAAA!” Her parents pleaded pitifully for their daughter to stop as others shook their heads in disapproval.  The staff looked more than annoyed.

Seats in the hallways were occupied by elderly men who used them like front porches, watching passerby with interest as they read their newspapers. Kids scampered around everywhere, treating the shops and cafes like personal play lands.

To be fair, most of the children were behaved. It’s just the loud ones that get all the attention.

After the mall, we headed to the electronics store because my husband wants to replace his ten year old computer. By the time we got home we both exhausted. Maybe being around that many people is tiring.

At home we lugged the 50 kg treadmill (just arrived) up the staircase — careful not to scratch the walls. To do this we had to take it apart first. Now our exercise room has a treadmill which will be a problem if we do ever succeed at having kids. However, the treadmill might be needed to keep me in good enough shape to have kids at all.

(I hate running outside where I feel stared it. I like privacy.)

Did I mention next cycle?  Yes, we’re going to try lose dose IVF and see if that stimulates any eggs to grow. Last time I tried IVF, back when my FSH averaged between 4-7 and my AMH was around 0.82, we used a high dose. It only stimulated about four weak follicles to grow. The E2 was so low that the cycle was cancelled. That was two years before I became pregnant with my son (when the doctors believed I probably couldn’t get pregnant because of my large fibroid and adenomyosis). Back then, my cycles were highly irregular, I rarely succeeded at ovulating, and often got cysts on my follicles.

It’s so strange how the script has flipped. My cycles are regular (27-29 days), I usually ovulate the follicle, I haven’t had a cyst in over a year in my ovaries, and my fibroid has stopped growing. Nevertheless, my FSH is high and my AMH is rock-bottom.

So low-dose shouldn’t work that well on me?  I’m hoping my change in fortune means I am more responsive to gonadotropin injections. Here’s to hoping!

In the meantime I am taking medicine to insure that I don’t develop any cysts that would endanger our April cycle. I went on Monday to the clinic and the doctor was surprised I had ovulated only hours before my appointment (LH was already falling back down). So no danger of not ovulating this cycle — mission accomplished!

When we start the April cycle I’ll take a bunch of the injections home with me. My husband paled at the thought that he would be injecting me. We both hate needles, but I can’t inject myself. I just can’t do it. I am not that strong.  I’ll suffer. He’ll cause my suffering. Seems reasonable.

Lots of cherry blossom hanamis with friends are on the way starting this Saturday.  I’m gonna be burned out on the blossoms after two weeks of this. You can expect to be flooded with pics of blossoms soon.  Full bloom is almost here.


4 thoughts on “Probably Spring

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