I always known when that time of month is here because that’s when my spirit crashes and burns.
It’s a hormonal thing. It’s a physical thing. It’s a brain chemistry thing.
This time is also a “I’m-in-a-lot-of-pain” thing.
I become highly sensitive, read into things, and anxious of everything. It’s last for about 2-4 days.
Did you take an extra hour to respond to my message? You hate me.
Did you say that in a slightly terse tone? You’re angry at me.
What did that “ok” you sent over facebook mean? I SENT you a smiley. A grinning smiley! Was that too much? Did I overdo it?
As you can see these are absurd overreactions. Mentally I know that person and I know their “ok” meant just that. However, my emotions send me on a rollercoaster of conflicted needs.
On one hand, I desperately want company, yet on the other I don’t want to be around anyone. I want a hug, but don’t touch me. In some ways I become afraid to be around people at all when I’m like this.
In a couple days, I’ll be back to my usual self. I feel bad that my emotions become so messy. I try to keep in check what they urge me to do. It’s so frustrating when this time brings out my id.
I turn into a mess. One that should stay on the couch watching her favorite TV shows and eating strawberries and chocolate.