Getting Down In The Dumps

I always known when that time of month is here because that’s when my spirit crashes and burns.

It’s a hormonal thing.  It’s a physical thing.  It’s a brain chemistry thing.

This time is also a “I’m-in-a-lot-of-pain” thing.

I become highly sensitive, read into things, and anxious of everything. It’s last for about 2-4 days.

Did you take an extra hour to respond to my message? You hate me.

Did you say that in a slightly terse tone? You’re angry at me.

What did that “ok” you sent over facebook mean?  I SENT you a smiley. A grinning smiley! Was that too much?  Did I overdo it?

As you can see these are absurd overreactions. Mentally I know that person and I know their “ok” meant just that.  However, my emotions send me on a rollercoaster of conflicted needs.  

On one hand, I desperately want company, yet on the other I don’t want to be around anyone. I want a hug, but don’t touch me.  In some ways I become afraid to be around people at all when I’m like this.

In a couple days, I’ll be back to my usual self.  I feel bad that my emotions become so messy.  I try to keep in check what they urge me to do. It’s so frustrating when this time brings out my id.

I turn into a mess. One that should stay on the couch watching her favorite TV shows and eating strawberries and chocolate.

Ok?  😀

Published by


When I was in my twenties, I moved to Japan and met a man there. We embarked on our adventure through life and love. I have lived with him in Japan ever since. We want to start a family, but that is proving difficult. I struggle with infertility. We almost had a child, but that ended in tragedy. Now we enjoy each day and hope that one day we'll hear the pitter-patter of little feet and the bubbly laughter of a child. In the meantime, I enjoy writing, love, studying, traveling, and working. These posts are my thoughts and stories of my life here.

2 thoughts on “Getting Down In The Dumps”

  1. oh yes I can become highly sensitive (and slightly paranoid) too! It’s not good. Overly reading into things and thinking people secretly find me annoying/boring etc. Or thinking that everyone else is super popular and living their lives to the fullest. And yea I’ll feel lonely and wish I was hanging out with friends but at the same time just want to be alone on the couch watching shows.. I can also get extra irritable with hubby. It’s a strange time! I find talking about all the little things that upset me that day/week and having a good cry about it, then getting a hug helps me. Followed by just watching girlie shows and eating chocolate 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s