Tomorrow Is Another Day

I got up early and went to the clinic.

Yesterday they detected a mature follicle with an E2 over 250 and an LH surge over 170. So they gave me medication to try and stop me from ovulating. We wanted to retrieve today.

We had hoped.

However, when they were taking it out, I could tell something was wrong. The doctor said, “I’ll explain later”.  I was sent back to rest and recover.  Thirty minutes later my buzzer went off and I entered the doctor’s office where he explained that I ovulated last night.

I have never in over four years conceived naturally, despite countless confirmed “natural” ovulations.  Not once.  In other words, I have very little hope of this becoming a pregnancy.

It means the egg, our poor little fellow, is likely gone. Doomed to die in about 24 hours.  There is a remote possibility of natural conception, just a super unlikely one.

We didn’t have to pay the full bill because I had already ovulated.

I’m strangely okay with this. I had a lot of doubts about the quality of this follicle. It had an elliptical shape and went down in E2 over a three day period.  The doctor wanted us to try anyway.  Nature had a different opinion.

And yet, I feel okay about this.  It’s disappointing adding another month of collecting before we can try again for a baby. However, I really want to do this right and not rush things because I want something now.

We can use the money for next month.

Still, it’s a big relief that we have eggs to collect and, when given a good quality embryo, I seem to fall pregnant quite readily.  I’ve read so many tragic stories of women who collected a ton of eggs from several cycles of IVF and not one took.  Not one.

If I do get pregnant again, my next challenge will be staying pregnant.  As we learned, reaching the second trimester is just the beginning of the risks for me.

But we have hope. Good embryos love to implant in my uterus.  We can do this.

I am glad to be born in an age with such options available.  Since I know I’ll run out of eggs fairly early in life, I can collected embryos now and have the possibility of having not only one child but maybe more.

It’ll just take time and patience.

*fingers crossed*


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When I was in my twenties, I moved to Japan and met a man there. We embarked on our adventure through life and love. I have lived with him in Japan ever since. We want to start a family, but that is proving difficult. I struggle with infertility. We almost had a child, but that ended in tragedy. Now we enjoy each day and hope that one day we'll hear the pitter-patter of little feet and the bubbly laughter of a child. In the meantime, I enjoy writing, love, studying, traveling, and working. These posts are my thoughts and stories of my life here.

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